Pocket Guide to the Time Machine

Not everyone knows how to work a time machine.

But I built this one myself and I made it super user-friendly for the time-traveling novice. Plus I wisely made it compact. Most time-machines are clunky with a bunch of gears and levers and an instruction manual that would put even the most avid reader to sleep. But not mine. Mine's simple. And rather stylish, if I do say so myself. You can take it anywhere as long as you have a pocket, because, you see...


...it's a pocket-watch.

No flashing lights or wonky sounds here. Who needs to attract all that attention? Especially on arrival! My goodness, why do time machine builders never think of giving their travelers the most prized gift of time-traveling: anonymity! Do you really want to show up in the middle of Ivan the Terrible's court making a ruckus and have everyone stare at you (and then arrest you)? I should think not. Even if you had in-depth research to do.

So simplicity is our ally. All you must do is choose a pocket-watch from all the ones hanging on the wall there. That's it. Now pop it open. There's a button on the top, just press--oh you got it, perfect. Okay, now you'll notice instead of hours, it has the numbers of each millennia, go ahead and set your hour hand to the one you prefer. Now, in between the millennia, you'll see centuries, set your minute hand to the one you prefer. Right. Now set the set the second hand to the year--what? Why didn't I just make it digital? Because a pocket-watch is way cooler, that's why.


Where's the class these days?

Stop complaining and just clip the watch-chain on you somewhere and hold the watch tightly in your hand. Now, when you're ready to time-jump, press the button on the side. Yes, that one--no wait! Not yet! I haven't given you the rest of the instructions, are you nuts?? Sheesh.



Understanding the Timeline

Number One:

This one is an absolute MUST. You need to know the timeline isn't finished. It's always growing. More will be added to it week by week, month by month, year by year. I will never be done with it. So if you see events missing, it's only because the timeline is in the process of being filled in. Eventually there will be side-paths and trails that lead away from the main timeline in order to focus on a certain person or event in detail. Like a zoom feature for time-travelers. So remember, the timeline is a living document, it will always be growing upwards, downwards, sideways, and who knows where. 


Number Two:

You'll also notice something is off with the punctuation. There are no periods used (except in quotes). Instead, I used semicolons to separate sentences. This was done on purpose because I wanted something to remind travelers that there is no real "period" in history. It's always flowing. No breaks, no barriers. Periods are just used for the ease of historians. I mean, do you really feel the period you're living in? I mean, do you feel it in the way others three hundred years from now will understand it? If you think you can, then go back and ask someone in the middle ages if they feel that they're living in the middle ages. Then come back and report. Front desk is open 24/7.


Number Three:

So I did something that probably seems tedious, but I truly think it's invaluable. What I did (and am still doing) is this: I'm putting the ages of certain historical figures into each year they lived. There's something about knowing that Jane Austen was 12 years-old in 1787 (She's an 80's kid).


Number Four:

You'll see I've added a "listen to the era" link at the top of some of the pages. These are YouTube playlists that I've created to help immerse you into the time you're traveling to. My goal is to eventually have a play list for every era that sweeps you away! Enjoy!


Number Five:

Sources. Sources are everything. As I'm going through each date and event, I'll do my best to link the book or website from which I got that information. This takes time, but I want to make this timeline as engaging and as useful as possible. Nothing would please me more than if you left the timeline by clicking on a link and began your own search into a subject of personal interest.


That's what this time-machine is for: exploring at your own pace, as your own curiosity guides you.

So go ahead! Press that button on the side of your pocket watch and enjoy the whiz of time flying past you. I hope you always land where you need to be. Just be sure to come back to the very same second you left. History wouldn't be complete without you right here, right now.


Happy Time Traveling!